Limp Duck

 

>A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery.
> 
>She laid her pet on the table; the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
>listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his
head
>sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your duck, "Cuddles" has
passed away'
> 
>The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure?'
> 
>'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied.
> 
>'How can you be so sure,' she protested. 'I mean, you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something'
> 
>The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
>few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever.
> 
>As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs,put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He
then
>looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
> 
>The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later
>with a cat.
> 
>The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from
>head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, mewed
>softly and strolled out of the room.
> 
>The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'.
> 
>The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he
>handed to the woman.
> 
>The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. '£150!' she
cried £150 just to tell me my duck is dead!'
> 
>The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry. If you'd taken my
word for it,the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab report and the
Cat scan,
>it's now £150