Comparative Religions

Taoism:  Shit happens
Confucianism:  Confucius say, 'Shit happens'
Buddhism:  Shit happening is an illusion
Islam:  Shit happening is the will of Allah
Zen:  What is the sound of shit happening
Hinduism: This shit happened before
Protestant: Let shit happen to someone else
Catholicism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Christian Science:  If shit happens, pray and it will go away
Atheism: Shit happens for no reason
Agnostic: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't
Hare Krishna:  Shit happens, shit happens, shit-shit happens
Stoicism:  So shit happens; I can take it
Scientology:  Faeces occurs
Rastafarianism:  Let's smoke this shit and see what happens
Jehovah Witness:  Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens