1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings*'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
I used to scintillate - now I sin 'til just half past three
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