Gordon and the fly

Splat!

During a TV interview last week, President Barack Obama was filmed coolly dispatching a fly in a single, well-focused, lethally accurate swat. But how do other world leaders deal with the same problem? Here, the Observer can exclusively reveal Gordon Brown's strategy:

1) Deny existence of fly;

2) Launch inquiry, promise to listen to fly;

3) Point out that occurrence of flies lower than under last Tory government;

4) Appoint spider to House of Lords as fly-catching tsar;

5) Hurl mobile phone in rage at fly;

6) Authorise anonymous briefing against fly, hint that fly's buzzing indicates frustrated leadership ambition;

7) Offer fly job in cabinet.