Wine Flu

A friend of mine went to a dinner party last night, where she and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. She awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes etc.
From the results of some initial testing, she has unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.  This debilitating condition is very serious and it appears this is not an isolated case.
Reports are flooding in from all around the neighbourhood of others diagnosed with Wine Flu.
To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs,
experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down.
However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD
and take some Nurofen [Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that
has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flue].  Others are
reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases.
Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening, and if treated early can
be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period. If not, then further
application of the original liquid in similar quantities to the original
dose has been shown to do the trick.