My doctor!

Let me tell you about my doctor. He's very good.

If you tell him you want a second opinion, he'll go out and come in
again. He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years
before he realized she was Chinese.

Another time he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the
six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, so the doctor gave him
another six months.

One time while he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said,
"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor
said, "Tell him I can't see him."

Another time as I sat in the waiting room, a man came running in the
office and yelled, "Doctor, doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of
film!!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what
develops."

One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory
problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied,
"When did what start?"

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His
advice: "Don't answer it."

My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor,
I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here,
take these - if they don't work, give me a ring."

Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards.
The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to
stop going to those places.

You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half
for an appointment, then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."