Funnies

A 3 year old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens.  On returning home he told his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.  “How did you know that?” asked his mother, “daddy picked them up and looked underneath, I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

 

At Sunday School the children were taught how God created everything, including human beings.  A young boy seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.  Later in the week his mother found him lying down as though he were ill and asked him what was wrong.  The boy said “I have a pain in my side, I think I am going to have wife.”

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.  “That’s no offence” said the judge, “how early were you doing the shopping?”  “Before the store opened,” answered the defendant.

 

I walked into the toilets at work the other day where I found two cubicles, of which one was already occupied. So I entered the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
Then this voice comes from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
I thought it a bit strange, but not wanting to be rude I replied "Yeah, not too bad thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again:- "So, what are you up to mate?"
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure quite who this was or what to say, I replied, "Umm, I was just going to have a quick xxx I think. Er, what about yourself?"
I then heard the voice for the third time ....
"Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. There's some idiot in the loo next to me answering everything I say."