Too Much Thanksgiving?

-You can't believe you spent 10 hours cooking it and they ate it in 10 minutes.

-You check your popup timer to see if it's really over.

-When you hear the word leftovers, you call 911.

-You lock the door so your relatives don't come back.

-Your turkey was generic, but guests "Can't believe it's not Butterball."

-Your oven is passing a petition against you.

-Your grocery store sends you fan mail instead of coupons.

-You got a smoke detector as a hostess gift.

-You haven't slept since you bought the turkey.

-You fell asleep after Thanksgiving with your apron on.

-You forgot to baste the turkey but it promised not to tell.

-You had pumpkin pie for breakfast this morning.

-Your dishwasher is having hot flashes.

-You can't open the refrigerator because leftovers will fall out.

-You have re-occurring flash-backs of eating too much.

-You would like to jog it off, but you can't bend over to put on your jogging shoes.

-You buy a lifetime supply of paper plates and swear you'll never wash dishes again.

-You make a donation to Save the Turkeys and become a vegan.

-Your garbage disposer doesn't want any more leftovers either.

-You wonder if Thanksgiving is actually a holiday invented by supermarkets.

-You are grateful that no one has invented a recipe for chocolate covered turkey (yet).

-You have to eat without forks because all the silverware is in the dishwasher.

-You call your leftovers the Butterball Mystery Meat.

-You eat fast food hamburgers the next day because anything is better than turkey.

-Thanksgiving is the only time you get to recycle all your good china.

-You know all the pots fit in the cabinet before, so why don't they fit now?

-The stove has gone on strike for better working conditions.

-The local grocery store wants to adopt you.

-Your turkey roaster is insured against theft, fire, and explosion.

-Foodmart now owns the mortgage on your home.

-You're so tired, you don't even mind watching football on TV.

-Your goal in life is to teach someone else to "do" Thanksgiving.

-You do not eat for three days because heating up leftovers is too much work.

-Shopping after Thanksgiving is not your idea of the way to work off overeating.

-You wouldn't go shopping if they were giving away Toys R Us.

-You wonder what to do with the turkey bones to keep the trash can from complaining.

-Your house has been designated a national turkey memorial site.

-You wonder what they eat for Thanksgiving in Turkey.

-Pumpkin scented candles give you a pumpkin scented migraine.

-You think Black Friday should be called Good Friday because Thanksgiving is over.

-If they think a turkey can gobble, they should see your family at the table.

-Amazing how your smoke detector shorted out exactly when the turkey finished cooking.

-No use crying over spilt gravy, unless you slip and fall in it.

-If the potatoes boil over, think of it as an excuse to clean the stove.

-You wonder if it's possible to have a candied sweet potato hangover.

-You would appreciate the compliments if they were not followed by "See ya next year."?

-Your favorite things are turkey sandwiches, turkey soup and turkey pot pie, because they mean Thanksgiving is finished.

-You're wondering if the turkey is the turkey or if you are.

-If you think you are upset by Thanksgiving, consider the turkey.