Quotes from teachers & police

These
> > are actual comments made on students' report cards by
> > teachers in the New York City public school system. All
> > teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)
> >
> >
> >
> > 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom
> > and has started to
> > dig.
> >
> >
> >
> > 2. I would not allow this student to breed.
> >
> >
> >
> > 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
> >
> >
> >
> > 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
> >
> >
> >
> > 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then
> > consistently fails to achieve
> > them.
> >
> >
> >
> > 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the
> > plastic thing to hold it all
> > together.
> >
> >
> >
> > 7. This child has been working with glue too much.
> >
> >
> >
> > 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches
> > 50, she should sell.
> >
> >
> >
> > 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
> > train isn't coming.
> >
> >
> >
> > 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd
> > have to be watered twice a week.
> >
> >
> >
> > 11. It's impossible to believe the
> > sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
> >
> >
> >
> > 12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely
> > dead.
> >
> >
> >
> > These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers.
> >
> >
> >
> > The comments were taken off actual police car videos around
> > the country:
> >
> >
> >
> > 16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder
> > than the one you just went
> >  through.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight
> > because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear
> > them a while.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 14 'If you take your hands off the
> > car, I'll make your birth
> > certificate a worthless document.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 12 'Can you run faster than 1200
> > feet per second? Because that's the
> > speed of the bullet that'll be
> > chasing you.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 11 'You don't
> > know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
> > write anything I want to
> > on the ticket,  huh?'
> >
> >
> >
> > 10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the
> > shift supervisor, but I don't think
> > it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm
> > the shift supervisor?'
> >
> >
> >
> > 9 'Warning! You want a warning? OK,
> > I'm warning you not to do that again
> > or I'll give you another ticket. '
> >
> >
> >
> > 8 'The answer to this last question
> > will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey
> > Mouse a cat or a dog?'
> >
> >
> >
> > 7 'Fair? You want me to be fair?
> > Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat
> > cotton candy and
> > corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more
> > tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 5 'In God we trust, all others we
> > run through NCIC.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 4 'How big were those 'two beers'
> > you say you had?'
> >
> >
> >
> > 3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used
> > to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we
> > can.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 2 'I'm
> > glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal
> > friend of yours. So you
> > know someone who can post your bail.'
> >
> >
> >
> > AND THE WINNER  IS....
> >
> >
> >
> > 1 'You didn't
> > think we give pretty women tickets? You're
> > right, we don't. Sign here.'