Wallis, Edward + Madonna… It’s Not Good!

Word from the Venice Film Festival is that the new Madonna-directed film, WE, is pretty ghastly. Madonna makes very liberal  use of the truth, or the truth as it’s generally accepted. In fact, as she says in an interview, that she “wasn’t interested in making a straight-forward bio-pic” and that it’s her “point of view, after digesting all of the information and doing all of the years of research…” So she uses the story of a young woman named Wally to tell the story, going back and forth in time a la Julie & Julia, because the truth is subjective.  Madonna said that she used the success of The King’s Speech as “laying the groundwork for her film”.

Somehow, this view of W+E is about the last thing I think either of them would be caught doing!

Here’s the Guardian’s hilarious take on Madonna and the film, with a link to Xan Brooks’ scathing review, including a clip of Madonna’s press conference in Venice where’s she’s dressed in an approximation of Wallis herself.

Age: 53.

Appearance: Ghost of Gaga Yet to Come.

What has she done? She's directed a hilarious new film.

What's it called? W.E.

About what? Wallis Simpson.

You mean the loud American girl in The King's Speech? That's her.

What makes her film-worthy? Well, for one thing King Edward VIII abdicated to marry her. Then there are the divorces, her notorious love of clothes, jewels and wealth and the accusations of Nazi sympathies.

I guess. She's not exactly an obvious subject for a comedy, though, is she? Oh, the film's not supposed to be funny: it's a period drama. It's just laughably bad. At least according to the critics. The first screening, at this year's Venice film festival, had the audience rolling in the aisles.

What's so funny about it? Various things, not least the fact that Simpson's story is told in parallel with the story of a woman in 1990s New York, who, in the words of our reviewer Xan Brooks, "is obsessed by the woman to a degree that struck me as deeply worrying, but which Madonna presents as evidence of impeccable good taste". Oh, and sometimes Simpson's ghost visits the woman in the 1990s.

Any stand-out scenes? So glad you asked. As it happens, yes, one scene has made a particularly lasting impression: an extended dream sequence in which Edward spikes the drinks of his royal entourage, causing an intoxicated Wallis to leap on stage and dirty dance with a Maasai tribesman.

Did that actually happen? Almost definitely not, and if it had, they certainly wouldn't have danced, as they do in the film, to the Sex Pistols' hit Pretty Vacant. Which, while admittedly an anachronistic choice, does sum up just about every review the film's received.

Do say: "It's the film The King's Speech could have been."

Don't say: "Like a virgin, touching a camera for the very first time."As the Guardian also says, “It is certainly a slightly revisionist take on the story, with Edward coming across as a frustrated social reformer demanding better housing for the poor before sipping another gin martini.” Said the Guardian’s film critic of Madonna’s last directorial effort, film-goers were “in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens" after watching it.

However, I do understand that the costuming is spectacular, and from what I saw in the most recent Vanity Fair spread about the film, the clothes and sets are wonderful.

Like Buttah!

The other week, when the Chefs came for supper, I made grilled peaches with whipped cream and a balsamic reduction drizzled over them. I had gotten a pint of organic heavy cream to make the whipped cream, and when I went to whip it with my immersion blender, and Chef John said that would turn it into butter, so he whipped it by hand.

Fast forward a week, and I still had the pint of heavy cream, minus a couple of tablespoons. So I thought about what Chef had said and decided to try my hand at making butter! I read through a lot of sets of instructions and concluded that I could probably do this all by myself. I started blending the heavy cream and it got all bubbly looking, but then it started to “break” and the butter solids began to separate from the buttermilk or whey. 

The instructions said to try and get all of the liquid out by pouring it off and then sort of rinsing the butter with ice water until the liquid ran clear. Then I put it into a piece of muslin to press any of the remaining liquid out of the butter.

I added a little bit of sea salt, kneaded it for a minute or two (I didn’t want it to start melting) and then put it into one of my gorgeous little lidded bowls. Tomorrow, I am going to go get some really good bread and try it out.  All in all, it took about 20 minutes from start to finish.

Gawd, this is scary… it’s like aliens have taken me over since I moved out of downtown and into the “country”.

P.S. I went out and bought a mini-baguette this morning, so I could have a French-style breakfast… It was perfect!

C’Mon Irene*

*with apologies to Dexy’s Midnight Runners

The waiting begins. We are several hours away from the arrival of Hurricane Irene, and there’s nothing left to be done. The lawn furniture is stashed up against the fence. All of the lanterns on the posts surrounding the garden have been taken inside. I have enough water and food for several days, and I have plenty of reading material and things to do.

At breakfast this morning, I had the chance to peruse the WSJ. Magazine, which is only available this weekend. There are a couple of articles I am saving for later, perhaps after the power goes out and I am forced to read by candle-light:

• A look at the stunning $720 million, six-year renovation of the Bolshoi Ballet Theatre in Moscow.
• An intricate view of how Cartier makes their signature panther bracelet.
• A story about how Hermès has remained independent in these days of mergers and acquisitions.

If you’re in the path of Irene, I hope you remain safe, and if not, have a great weekend!

Open the Newspaper!

It’s amazing how many funny contraptions the Victorians had… everything from ice cream forks, to asparagus tongs, to specialized utensils for myriad foods.

Today, I found a new piece – a newspaper opener. God forbid that you get that nasty ink from the paper on your hands (New York Times, I am talking to YOU!). I think that one of my great-aunts had someone iron her newspaper. This simple little contraption allows you to flip the page and then smooth it down, without ever touching it. Most of the newspaper openers are about a foot long and have a handle and a blade-type end. This one is silver and ivory. This one is carved ivory at one with a silver ferrule in the middle.  Another silver and ivory newspaper opener. The ivory on this one looks a little damaged. I liked this one made from olive wood and shagreen, which is shark’s skin. Another elaborately handled opener.

This one has a fox’s head on it, and is marked Foxcroft. It’s up for auction this weekend at Alex Cooper in Baltimore.

I am endlessly fascinated by auction sites, and try to attend when I can. You always learn something!

Another Style Quiz

This quiz is from Ethan Allen, and you choose from sets of two images to determine your style. I keep getting “Romantic” which I am not sure about…

Oh wait! I just took it again and got “Elegance” which may suit me a wee bit better. Here’s the description:

Your Signature Lifestyle is Elegance. Elegance is the essence of timeless sophistication. A seamless composition of quintessentially classic design elements, reinterpreted through streamlined scale and shape. Luxurious yet beautifully livable. A cosmopolitan mix of clean woods paired with chic, enduring fabrics.

Try it and see what you come up with!

Treasure Hunt

I love treasure hunts, and the great possibility of finding something so amazing, that you gasp. I rediscovered a great treasure that I thought I’d share with you. It’s called Treasure Hunt, and it’s the blog of the British National Trust.  It’s written by Emile de Bruijn, the NT staffer whose job it is to co-ordinate acquisitions of works of art and other historic chattels that have left the UK’s historic houses in the past, and return them to their proper place. Each post is a little treasure, explaining the story of a room at one of the Trust’s houses, or how a particular work of art was re-acquired. There are stories that take you behind the scenes at some of the most beautiful houses and descriptions of how renovations were accomplished. Reading through Treasure Hunt  is like taking a mini-art history course, with fabulous images and the insider scoop on how things came to the Trust. One of the fun features is seeing the “downstairs” parts of these magnificent houses, like this linen room above, or the dairy with its stunning table with the hilarious legs. Incredible! So I hope you will go Treasure Hunting and see all of the fascinating posts that Emile has written about some of the most amazing houses.

Thanks to pal ~JCB~ for introducing me to this treasure chest!

Knock, Knock…

Who’s there?

Oh, this fun moose {or elk} door knocker! I have a non-functioning door-bell at the new house, and I just put great brushed nickel numbers on the front door, which I want to paint. But maybe this is what I need for the front door. It’s cheap… £19.99 from Rockett St. George in the UK.

Next question… the house is a pale yellow, and I want to paint the front door a fun colour. Suggestions?

Like a Bowl Full of Jelly

I was reading blog and personal favourite, House of Beauty & Culture the other day and he wrote about a summer specialty, jelly. Specifically, jellied champagne with raspberries. What could be more refreshing on a hot summer day than this!As I was reading the post, I remembered a company in London which specializes in sculptural and architectural jellies, which are most amazing. The company, Bompas & Parr, was started by two Oxbridge grads after their final year at university, just as a summer lark. Their work caught on and soon became in demand for the most elegant of events. For the Royal Wedding in April, they created a mould of Buckingham Palace and made a huge copy of it.

Royalty has always celebrated with jelly, as you can imagine with Queen Victoria and the Victorians and their chefs who worked to make more and more imaginative dishes for the royal banquets. You can still find elaborate jelly moulds in antique stores, and it’s lots of fun to make your own creations with them. Or you can do something as simple as oranges and cream in jelly. Don’t you think this is fun!

Eye Candy

Just wandering around the internets and found some things that caught my eyes.

   A new take on old Victorian, from here.

Venetian shower curtain from here.

Maybe this is what I need over my work table. Here.

Something for sitting under in the garden.

A few days at the beach… maybe later this summer.

I’m Recovering…

…a chair, that is! I have a very comfortable arm chair, which is a bit sun-faded, so I thought I’d take things one step further from my recovered sofa and ottomen, and slipcover an arm-chair. What’s so challenging is that I picked a geometric print linen from Victoria Hagen’s collection. The print is Twilight Rhythm in indigo and periwinkle. Because of the pattern, I have to be especially careful about matching the lines.  I started pinning and cutting, with everything inside out. After I did that, I basted it all together to make sure it fit properly. I need to work on the front of the arms to make sure they look tailored, and then I need to decide a couple more things: should I paint the chair’s legs white or cream or leave them dark, and should I make the skirt more tailored than the last few pieces I’ve done, which have had box pleats or semi-ruffles. I thought about doing inverted pleats on the corners and in the center front. I would love your input!

In case you’re wondering what is on the walls, I found a number of embroidery hoops and then cut fabric to fit them, and then hung them on the wall in my workroom. I can swap out the fabrics when I get sick of them, or if I find a piece I especially love.

Home Goods Style Score Quiz

I found this great little quiz over on How About Orange and thought I’d give it a try.  It’s for the Home Goods chain of stores, and was developed by Deborah Needleman, formerly of Domino, now of favourite, WSJ.Magazine.  You can take the quiz here and then come on back and tell me how you did!

I am a GLAMOUROUS CLASSIC!

You have a refined sensibility with an appreciation for history and tradition in your furniture and your rooms. You value beauty and craftsmanship. You are visually sensitive and understand how symmetry and a balanced layout give order to a room. But you definitely like to shake things up with some unabashed luxury and glamour to keep things from getting boring. You go for rich materials like velvets, one-of-a-kind objects, lady-like touches, glimmering accessories, and a sense of old-Hollywood romance that makes your home dramatic and elegant.

You value creativity. You are stylish and fun loving, and can be an inspiration to others. You have a natural sense of drama, and you know you have to be willing to take risks—whether with colors, finishes, furniture choices, or ideas—for your home to stand out. Your home can be happy and lively and the place all of your friends want to be.

Funnily, this is pretty spot on!  I call my style Rough Luxe, since I do like the finer things in life, but I also like things like my steel kitchen counter/desk and my 30 drawer steel shoe holder.1. Your Design Challenge: ORGANIZE: The front hall sets the mood for your entire home. Consider how to accommodate all the room's functions as beautifully as possible. At the very least you need a console, and if you're short on storage, consider a dresser. Outfit the surface with nice trays and bowls for mail, keys and sunglasses. Keep a trash can for immediately tossing the junk mail. Closet-door or wall hooks encourage coat and bag hanging rather than dumping. It's nice to have a chair or bench for changing shoes, a mirror for last-minute lipstick checks, and a lamp or sconces for warm light.

This is a big issue for me, and I am really trying to conquer it in the new house. Although my shoe box is relegated to the mud room, I really want it in the front, so I can store my shoes as soon as I walk in the door! In the winter, I also store gloves/scarves in it, so it’s very practical.

2. Your Happy Place: Choose a color or two that harmonizes with the tableware you already own, and collect things like linens, glasses, dessert plates, or platters in those hues. This is a fantastic way to liven up a plain, white table setting. And if you can, set the table the night before a dinner party, so you can really take pleasure in tending to the details.

My china is blue and white, so it’s fun that my Happy Colours fit that range of colours.  I also have some of my china in plain white, so it would work with other blue and white china. I’ve been using hot pink napkins lately and that looks fantastic. 3. Be Party-Ready All the Time! Scent: The first thing you notice about a home is how it smells. Use naturally fragrant cleaning products. If you find a scented candle or fresh potpourri you love, stock up on it. Any scent you like, whether perfume or linen spray, can be used on upholstery, bedding or just spritzed into the air.
I just got an amazing strawberry-scented Slatkin candle and I also bought one from Williams-Sonoma in their fabulous pink grapefruit scent.

Mood: Nice, flattering light makes us feel good. So nix the harsh, direct light from overhead fixtures in favor of the softer glow from floor and table lamps. Also, stock up on some votive candles and a couple of hurricane lanterns for setting around the room.I never, ever, ever, use overhead lights. Ever. I love table lamps, and candles. My sister gave me three lanterns with candles, and I’ve hung them on hooks out in the back yard. I also have some beautiful candlesticks that I use, too.

Food: Devote space in your pantry or on a shelf for go-to party essentials: crackers, dip, chips, nuts—whatever you like to serve. Keep on hand a collection of attractive bowls and cocktail napkins, and you'll be able to set a spread—instantly!
Now that I am entertaining again, I always try and have the essentials on hand. Whether it’s a box of Triscuits and some cheese, or just chips, I am trying to be prepared to have company at all times. A lot of people have been stopping in to see the new house, so it’s good to do this!

Drink: The simplest and chicest thing is to have a drinks tray or table always set up. Include a mix of pretty glasses, an ice bucket, a lovely pitcher, and bottles of soda and water. When the bell rings, just add ice and limes.
Ha! Before I had a jar of mayo in the fridge, I had champagne and white wine!  I do have a nice silver ice bucket and a gorgeous silver water pitcher. I have beautiful William Yeoward glasses, so they’re always stunning to use for guests. These are my Happy Home colours:This is pretty interesting, since the bottom center colour is basically what I’ve painted the living room and one of the bedrooms, and the top left colour, a sort of periwinkle is one of my favourites!

Take a moment to take the quiz, and let me know what it says about you!