Funny things kids say!

Brian just turned 4. When Aunt Barb asked him what he wants to
be for Halloween he proudly told her, "I want to be the Booger King!"
He meant Burger King. Later he changed his mind. He now wants to be
Santa! -- Aunt Barb of Warrington, Pennsylvania
When Linda was growing up a neighbor boy named Randy said his
"f" like an "s." One day Randy came to visit. Linda's mother went
to the door and said, "Hi, Randy, how are you?" Randy said, "I am
sine." Linda's brother, with his hands on his hips, said, "It's not
sine. It's pine!" He had a speech impediment, too. Linda is happy
to report both boys outgrew their speech problems. -- Linda Diehl of
Avilla, Indiana
Here are more stories from Linda. Her brother Bruce was not
used to going to the doctor because he was a healthy kid. When his
mother took him for his middle school football physical they gave him
a cup for a urine specimen. When he handed the cup back, they asked,
"What did you do with the cup?" He replied, "I filled it up with
water and washed out my ears. I thought I would have an ear
inspection!"
Linda's 5-year-old grandson when to the eye doctor. "Are you
having double vision?" the doctor asked. "Do you know what double
vision is?" The doctor then held up a pen. He said, "Here is one
pen. If you see two that's double vision? Have you ever seen double
vision?" Linda's grandson thought and then replied, "Well, when
we're going down the road there are two yellow lines down the middle
-- my Mom says that means don't pass."
Then the eye doctor said, "I'm going to shine this light in your
eye. Sit still and look at the light switch on the wall behind me."
Linda's grandson then started wiggling. The doctor told him to sit
still and look at the light switch on the wall behind him. Drew
said, "I'm trying to look at the light switch but your head is in the
way!"
Cathy's husband had borrowed her SUV for a weekend getaway with
friends, so Cathy borrowed her sister-in-law's smaller compact car.
Nolan, 3, was not at all thrilled with the smaller car. When Lisa
and Nolan went to visit Cathy with the new car, Nolan said, "Look
Aunt Cathy's little car.. don't lose it." -- Lisa Billingsley (sister
of Cathy) of Scaly Mountain, North Carolina
Koen, 3, was spending the night and having pizza for dinner.
His hands were messy, so he said, "I need a wiper towel (paper
towel)!" -- Dennis Smith (Koen's PawPaw) of Oak Ridge, North Carolina
When Natalie was about 3 (she's 40 now) she owned a Mrs. Beasley
doll. (Editor's note: The doll is from the 1960s television show
"Family Affair.") Natalie attended a small church in New Mexico, and
the reverend, Brother Cook, had extremely poor eyesight and wore very
thick glasses. One Sunday morning Brother Cook was reading from the
Bible and lost his place. It was very quiet as the congregation
waited for him to continue, and at that time, Natalie pulled the
string on her Mrs. Beasley doll. The doll could say about 10
phrases. The phrase that came out was "Would you like to borrow my
glasses? You may if you wish!" -- Anne Coleman (sister of Natalie)
of Las Cruces, New Mexico
Katelyn, 5, loves babies. She has been the only girl on both
sides of the family until recently her Aunt Rhonda had a baby girl,
Macy. Katey was so excited and was telling Aunt Traci all about the
new baby. Traci asked if she thought the new baby was cute, and
Katie replied, "Oh yes, she is as cute as a snake!" -- Aunt Traci of
Lebanon, Tennessee
Sarah kissed John, 3, on the cheek. She saw him rubbing it and
asked him why he was rubbing her kiss off. He said, "No, Mom, I am
rubbing it into my memory!" -- Gary and Sarah Housholder of Avilla,
Indiana
Here are some more from Gary and Sarah. John was playing in
some piles of ice cubes on the ground at a tailgate party at a
football game. The ice had been dumped out of coolers when people
were packing up to leave. His shoes got all muddy. About half way
home John said to himself, "I didn't know that." Then he said, "Dad,
did you know that mud turns to dirt?" John was looking at the bottom
of his shoes that were drying.
One night late this summer John couldn't get to sleep because
the crickets outside his open window were making too much noise. So
he went to his parents' room and fell asleep in his parents' bed.
They carried him into his room later. At about 3:30 in the morning
John came back into Gary and Sarah's room and said, "Dad, the
crickets are still cricketing!"
Shawn had gained a few pounds, so his mother told him no
McDonalds. Alice fixed him a roasted chicken leg and pears, instead
of a McDonalds meal. After he finished, Shawn looked at Alice and
asked, "How much weight did I lose?" -- Alice Riley of Nashville,
Tennessee
Andrew, 4, was visiting his Nana. She noticed that while
playing he would reach back and pull at the seat of his pants.
Finally she asked, "Andrew what is wrong with your pants?" He
replied, "I guess I have a veggie!" -- Joan Henry (aunt of Andrew) of
Sulphur Springs, Texas
This story comes from Sister Lita in Canada. It is from her
friend Anne Harty, a Canadian volunteer in Thailand. Ann was
expecting and her daughter Melanie was making her "secretest"
prediction. Melanie was going to write her prediction on a piece of
paper and put it in an envelope for Anne to open after the baby was
born. After she started writing her "secretest" prediction, little
Melanie asked, "Mom, how do you spell girl?"
When Chris was just learning to read the family went on
vacation. He would read all the signs and was doing well. All of a
sudden he said, "Let's stay at the Ram a Day Inn." He meant Ramada
Inn. -- Cathy Youngblood (mother of Chris) of Carthage, Texas
Nolan was very nervous about his 3-year check up. They walked
into the office and he refused to be weighed; then he cried when it
was time to find out how tall he was. They were about to give up on
everything when his mother remembered that he was obsessed with John
Deere tractors. She asked Nolan if they could look in his ears for a
tractor. and he agreed. Then they asked him if they could look down
his throat for a tractor, and he agreed. Everything was smooth
sailing after that. -- Lisa Billingsley of Scaly Mountain, North
Carolina
Peyton, 4, climbed into my Joyce's car at the end of the day and
announced that her friend Kallie was not at day care, but was in the
hospital. "Why? What happened?" Joyce asked. Peyton replied, "Oh,
Nana, she had her opinions removed!" -- Joyce Boswell of Lewisport,
Kentucky
The mosquitoes were really bad. One morning a mosquito got in
their car. Jared, who had been bitten a lot despite mosquito spray,
swells up a lot. He tried to reason with the mosquito. He said,
"Mosquito, I know you and your brothers and sisters, and other family
members like to bite us, but don't you understand it is not nice to
bite people, and besides you leave really bad sores on me that itch
and hurt. So could you please, please stop biting me, if you have to
bite someone, can you please go to our neighbors across the street or
something? We just don't like you flying around Mommy and Daddy's
cars because we don't really want you there, and can you please, stop
hanging out at our door to the house, we don't want you in the house
either trying to get our blood, can you please, please just stay way
from my family, you and your family can find someone else to get
blood from and besides biting is NOT NICE!" -- Debbie Pipkin of
Belleville, Michigan